Today was sort of a copy & paste of yesterday. Camp, planning, a museum, dinner out, and ending the day with a big meltdown for good measure.

Nick walked Millie over to camp this morning and reported that it went much smoother than previous days, no tears. She’s either getting used to it or saves the dramatics for me – probably a combo.

When he got back to the hotel we did some more Visa research. We neglected to get our Chinese visa before leaving the states so we are trying to figure out what our options are. After reading all sorts of message boards we think we have a plan.

We then walked over to the Stedelijk Museum, which is Amsterdam’s largest modern art museum. I loved seeing this in contrast to yesterday’s visit to the Rijksmuseum.

The first exhibit was very… modern? I love art but there is some art that is just too out there for me. It was pink canvases and a bunch of water bottles, cheap desk chairs, and boxes. I couldn’t help but wonder what the Dutch masters would think of this. Nick’s review was, “wow they really gave a lot of real estate in this museum to this”

Luckily the rest of the museum redeemed itself. I loved the curation and the written descriptions of each room. After yesterday’s “icky” feeling while witnessing the darker sides of Dutch history, this museum confronted it head on and thoughtfully.

It showcased artists from the colonies, and how concepts and techniques evolved between people and places. There were rooms focused on migration and others on war. It all felt very timely with what’s going on in the news.

Here are some of my favorites:

We took our time and leisurely walked over to pick up Millie. From camp we walked to a canal-side cafe to have an early dinner. This felt like a real hole-in-the-wall place and was the first place we’ve visited in Amsterdam where the server didn’t speak much English. Millie happily drew and watched the ducks and told us about her day. She drew me giving her a piggyback ride and Nick giving her a shoulder ride. Very common occurrences. We ate a platter of Dutch meats.

We walked the 30 minutes back to the hotel beside the water, trying not to get run over by bikes.

When it came time to shower before bed she didn’t want to and we were faced with another screaming meltdown that lasted upwards of 20 minutes, including slamming doors and hitting us. We are at an our wit’s end with these, and just feel awful about them. She has always been an opinionated and emotional kid, but one major meltdown a day is way more than she had at home.

In tonight’s post mortem we dissected all the possible reasons and our hypothesis is it’s misplaced feelings about this trip. For us, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But for Millie, it’s confusing and honestly, kind of boring. She doesn’t have her favorite (or really any) toys and she doesn’t have much control over what we are doing day to day. So we are going to get her some new things to play with and find ways for her to have more say in what we’re doing. And if that doesn’t work, then I’m not sure.

I spent an hour tonight reading Reddit threads and medical journals about what is considered “normal” behavior for her age. My Reddit history is just content about tantrums and getting visas for faraway lands. The algorithm probably thinks I’m about to make a run for it.

Hopefully Millie, when you read this in the future, you can recognize that we spent a lot of time anguished about how we could help you, and tried to adjust to your needs. We are doing our best. To Millie’s future therapist, please help her see how this experience built resilience and a wider knowledge of the world, which in turn made her a more empathetic and successful adult. Thank you.