Total minutes slept on overnight flight: zero. We landed at 2:30, got to the Airbnb building at 3:30, finally got into the apartment at 4, am promptly passed out. We had to wake up Millie at Noon.

All things considered, she did okay. She kept falling asleep for 30 seconds at a time while waiting in line, on the airport shuttle, and in the Uber. We narrowly escaped any major meltdowns, probably because she was too tired to fight.

We are staying in a super nice luxury high rise apartment in downtown Dubai for about $100/night (been trying to stick to around this number when we can). I’m not sure why all lodging is cheap here, because everything else has been unbelievably expensive. My guess is that there are so many of these high rises being built and not enough people to live in them.

We went to get some coffee and something to eat near our building. After we ordered we realized that every single table in there was taken by someone on a laptop. Nick described it perfectly when he observed “everyone in here has big crypto bro energy”.

There was this street-art-style mural on the wall of Princess Diana for some reason. I thought it perfectly encapsulates the vibe of Dubai: manufactured art and culture while worshiping money and class.

We stopped in at a grocery store to get some basics like fruit, granola, coffee, & sunscreen, and walked out shocked by how much we spent. We’ve decided that since the main attraction of Dubai seems to be spending money, this is a good time to reassess our stuff and if it’s serving us or if we need to replace anything. We unpacked every item and laid it out to recall how many times we’ve used it and if it’s in good enough condition to continue onwards. By the end of the exercise, Nick and I each discarded a couple of things that we don’t plan to replace and Millie had a whole shopping list. I guess it makes sense as the only member of the party who is actively growing.

We walked to the nearby Dubai mall which is HUGE. In addition to getting some stuff for Millie, we wanted to take her to a kids’ play place called Kidzania. After so many “boring ruins” (her words), it feels only fair that we throw in some kid-specific events for her.

I don’t think I can quite overstate how huge this mall is. If you close your eyes and think of a store, they have it there. It felt more American than an American mall, except for when they cut the music and did a call to prayer.

We found Kidzania. Our understanding of it was that it was a little city for kids where they can play pretend. We have these at home and Millie reliably loves them since she loves pretend play. She will happily pretend to grocery shop for her imaginary 3 kids for hours. After we paid too much to get in we quickly learned that this was different. They gave the kids fake money and she had to use the money to enter the fake stores. At other spots you can “do jobs” to earn money.

The concept is great. The execution was horrible. We found it so confusing what she was allowed to do or not. Everything had a chaotic line outside of it with kids cutting ahead. Every stop was regimented and grown-up led. There was no space for kids to just openly explore.

The concept of earning and spending money was overwrought. It felt like capitalist training camp with all the joy of simply playing sucked out. Kind of perfect for Dubai. Can you tell we don’t like it here?

Since we couldn’t get a refund (and trust me we tried lol) I tried to make the most of it and have a good time with Millie. She had some fun moments as a factory worker, a painter, and a vet.

Every stop had a photographer, which was yet another thing that made it feel like manufactured fun. They even told the kids what poses to do. I snapped this photo they took of Millie in “pilot school” while the lady was trying to sell me $20 printouts and got in trouble.

They had a few fake businesses that I thought were a little weird for kids. Crime scene investigation and nanny/maid/visa services. There is something so dystopian about rich kids pretending to work at a migrant maid staffing agency.

After we left we found two things on her list to replace items she’s either grown out of or worn through: a bathing suit and a new twirly dress. Both from the tried and true Marks & Spencer. We then went to dinner at Din Tai Fung in the mall. Millie was so hungry by this point that she ate a bunch vegetable and chicken dumplings.

We walked back to our apartment as the sun was setting. Everything felt lively. It’s probably the only time kids can actually play outside. Millie played for a while on a playground below the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. Nick and I talked about why this city feels so weird.

His words from a text he sent me while we were separated in the mall say it all: It’s really interesting to see all of this right after the ancient stuff. Like this is the new Rome, people having their turn at the wheel. And it’s always, always built on top of the backs of an underclass. It’s like seeing America as a non-American must see it. “Huh, everyone with money seems to look different than everyone without it”

Come to Dubai! Spend all your money! Leave spiraling about the environment and wealth disparity!

I wonder if the Dubai tourism board is hiring?