We are halfway through our year of travel around the world. Most days I can’t believe we’re really doing it. It is hard to put into words what the experience has been like, because it’s been so many things. Incredible, hard, beautiful, confusing, frustrating, interesting, and so on. Any adjective would work. But I’ll do my best at capturing how everything has been going in this post. First as an objective “by the numbers” section, followed by my attempt at some more nuanced reflections.

By the numbers

21 countries visited. In order: UK, France, Tunisia, Portugal, Germany, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Netherlands, Turkey, UAE, Kenya, Tanzania / Zanzibar, South Africa, Oman, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, China, South Korea.

We spent the longest time in China and the UK (32 and 24 days respectively). We have averaged 9 days in each country. People have asked us what our favorite / least favorite have been but that’s hard to answer; everywhere has been great and hard in their own ways.

23 flight days: We have been on more individual planes but I’m too lazy to calculate. Wherever possible we’ve flown direct, so this would probably be about ~27 planes total. Asian airlines are my favorite because they always feed you, even if it’s just an hourlong flight.

9 trains: Excluding public transit, we have taken 9 trains to get between cities. 1 to Paris, 2 in Uzbekistan, 4 in China, and 2 in South Korea.

10 cars rented: In the UK, Tunisia, Germany, the Baltics, Turkey, Kenya, Tanzania, South Africa, and Kyrgysztan. Nick has done all the driving except for the one day in Germany where he had a fever and I took Millie out for the day. Most terrifying place to drive has been Kenya.

77 nights in hotels, 91 nights in Airbnbs, 15 nights with friends or family: We adults drastically prefer the Airbnbs because we can put Millie to bed and stay up to a normal time. She loves hotels because it feels like a family sleepover. The only thing I like about hotels is the buffet breakfast.

Most expensive countries: France, UAE, Netherlands

Least expensive countries: Uzbekistan, Tunisia, Kenya

Most expensive lodging (by far): $295/night in Yangshuo, China. This was because we booked last minute in a touristy spot during a national holiday. Oops. It was a really nice suite though (all rooms were sold out so we had to get the suite).

Least expensive lodging: $39/night for our yurt in Kyrgyzstan. And it included breakfast!

Budget

Overall we are coming in slightly below our daily budget, but slightly over our flights/trains budget. We rented our house for a bit more than predicted, so it is looking like my budget estimate could be pretty spot-on.

We’ve had a couple of unexpected expenses. By definition we couldn’t have planned for them, but it hasn’t made them sting any less. I wish I had added a “misc outliers” bucket to pull from when doing my estimate. They are things like:

• Out-of-pocket doctor’s appt and medication in Beijing
• Traffic tickets in South Africa. They are ruthless with the speed cameras.
• Rebooking a flight because we ate such spicy food that we got fevers (oops)
• New headphones after leaving some at a hotel.
• Visas. This one was predictable but I neglected to include them in the budget. We’ve spent $1200 on Visas so far.

I’ve gotten a good rhythm and process now with keeping my spreadsheet up to date. I am a queen of pivot tables.

I’ve also loosened up a bit emotionally when it comes to the budget. I spent the first couple of months spiraling about how much we were spending. The spreadsheet has really helped me see the big picture, and to recognize that we planned for this and we are staying on track. I’ve realized that going over budget some days isn’t the end of the world because we will make it up on other days.

Packing

I assumed we’d accumulate things as we went, but it’s been the opposite. If we haven’t worn something for a while, it shows that it’s dead weight and gets left behind. Every month or two we do a culling and replace or leave behind some stuff.

Since day one, I’ve dropped pajamas (I just sleep in a tshirt and underwear, Winnie the Pooh style), workout clothes, jeans, and a sweater. For the last few months we’ve found that we have the right amount of stuff. It’s very freeing to have barely anything. I’m debating replacing all my shirts with duplicates of the same shirt, like Steve Jobs.

Laundry has been way easier to come by than I predicted, though dryers are non-existent. We haven’t used a dryer since staying with our American friends in Portugal. We haven’t had a moment yet where we’ve run out of clean clothes, though of course “clean” is relative here. I am willing to wear a shirt a few times before washing it.

We haven’t bought a single souvenir and we haven’t needed to check a bag yet.

Planning

We’ve gotten into a good groove with planning as we go. We still refer heavily to the document Nick made before we left. We are usually looking at the “big picture” stuff about a month out. By big picture I mean agreeing on where we’ll go, and booking any flights or trains that we expect will go up in price or sell out. Then we book lodging about a week out, sometimes less. This has been nice to maintain some flexibility, like if we’re feeling worn out we can add some days to just chill.

We have found that the sweet spot for how long to stay in most places is about 4-5 days, though I have a theory that any experience is like water and fills whatever container you give it. It’s like if you have a week or a month to finish a project, you will finish it in the available time. That’s how it’s felt with our itinerary, we always manage to fill the time and do the things we want to do. Whenever it’s time to leave a place, it feels right.

We’ve diverged from the original plan a bit:

• We didn’t go to Romania because we couldn’t find an affordable flight and it seems like somewhere we could go back in the future for a family vacation.
• We didn’t go to Mozambique because we were worn out after our time in Kenya and Tanzania. We both regret this one a bit because it’s a hard place to get back to, and I keep hearing how amazing it is.
• We decided against India and Sri Lanka for this trip. Our timing would have had us there in the rainy season, and we decided it was just too difficult with a little kid. I know I’ll be able to visit at some point in the future.
• We won’t make it to Bhutan because it’s too expensive, and doesn’t really fit with our “book last minute” travel style. Maybe when we’re retired.
• With the above omissions, we had space to add in Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Kazakhstan. I’m so glad we did! All three were incredible experiences, and we learned so much about a part of the world I embarrassingly knew nothing about.

Togetherness

We are together 100% of the time. Most of the time the three of us are really in sync and get along great. But of course, we have our moments.

One thing that has been hard is that the only time Nick and I have to talk as adults without being interrupted is after Millie goes to bed. Much of this time goes into planning, so we have very little downtime. I thought I’d get through a long reading list but I have barely read one book. Unless you count the many babysitters club books we have read to Millie.

Another common tension is extreme decision fatigue. You know that thing when you and another person are both hungry but can’t figure out where to eat? The classic back and forth is like this: “You can pick a place, I’ll eat anything” “How about pizza?” “No I don’t really feel like that, anything else but pizza” “Okay, how about Chinese?” “Hmm, no” “Okay so what do you want?” And so on… anyway, sometimes making decisions on this trip are like that.

The last challenge has been just the general difficulty of doing our best to raise a good kid while on this trip. Raising a 4 year old is difficult as it is, but then without a routine, breaks from each other, or privacy, it sometimes feels like we’re doing it on hard mode. It’s getting easier, but looking back, the hardest moments have been all three of us in an elevated state.

Of course all three of these things are also positives. We are so lucky to spent this much time together and to get to make these sorts of decisions. I also had decision fatigue from work, and that was significantly less fun than this. And it’s so special to have a front row seat to Millie growing up. We notice every little thing she learns every day. I’ve never felt closer to my little family.

Millie

We spent the first few months of this trip wondering if the experience was an overall a net positive or negative for Millie. She had a really hard time missing her friends and she didn’t understand how long we’d be gone. Her feelings came out in her behavior with a series of unprecedented meltdowns that started wearing us all down. Nick and I both felt guilty and tired, and considered throwing in the towel to bring her home to stability.

In the last few months, I can finally confidently say that I think this trip will be good for her. She is walking miles, learning new things, and getting more confident interacting with the world around her. She has started making friends with other kids despite language barriers, and will hold a conversation with any adult that talks to her. She is remembering more than I expected and refers back to earlier parts of our trip and makes connections between things.

Homesickness

We had a tough week last week and hit a bit of a wall. We were all in bad moods and just wanted to be home. As we talked about it I realized that there is something difficult about this halfway mark. This is both the longest we have been away from home, and we acutely know how much longer we will be gone.

We have only recently started to feel homesick. It’s a dull ache, but also kind of nice. It’s made us feel grateful for things we had at home that we used to take for granted. The thing we miss the most are people and community. Nick and I are both introverts who pride ourselves on our ability to spend days alone without feeling too lonely, so this feels a bit surprising. I miss dropping in to see my parents on a Saturday, or stopping to talk to neighbors while on a walk. I have big plans of hosting Sunday dinners for friends upon our return.

I miss grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning my house, and tending to my garden. I am even starting to miss work. At home we were burned out and exhausted, but there was nothing like closing my laptop on Friday, picking up Millie from school, and going out as a family somewhere to celebrate the start of the weekend. I miss the highs and lows of a routine.

Looking forward

We have come full circle on our discussions about where we want to live after this trip. In the beginning we thought it might be a good opportunity to make a big move. Our stuff is already all packed up, we’re already far from home, and Millie hasn’t started kindergarten yet. We feel what I would call “cautiously pessimistic” about the state of America. There’s a lot going on at home that scares us, and we worry about raising Millie there if things get worse. I have realized though that this is not unique to America, it’s everywhere.

After many discussions, lately we’ve been feeling like the best thing we can do is move home. We have friends, good schooling options, family nearby, and a house we’ve tailored be just right for us. Why should we let anything ruin that? Instead, the best thing we can do is invest in our little community and provide stability for Millie while the world burns around us.

Until then, we’ve got six more months of this life-changing adventure ahead of us. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel grateful—for the means, for our health, and for Nick and Millie’s love.